I have no idea when I finally surrendered to something far larger than me but also that has been within me all my life.
Something in the way she moves like no other lover🎵 Why did that song just come into my head? Must have been something she said🎵 Oh there she goes again singing fragments of songs, rhyming and making it up as I go along. Yes ! Now I know this is one of my many creative ways of accessing not just a part of me, but the infinite potentiality, far more than possibilities, its something I create into practicalities, then into matter, if I choose.
Then I hear the voice ‘ how can you say that?’
Well firstly, because I did, secondly because I have all my life. I have chosen what I want to do and have done it. Yes there have been spells that I’ve cast upon myself like signing up for the Royal Air Force at 16 to ‘Travel and see the World’s, a successful career in IT , I know hard to believe when you meet me now, maybe even then? Many other ‘ contracts’ know and unknown I have entered into and left when I got bored.
So why all this second guessing myself, why the need for confirmation from others that I am living my best life?
Why indeed?
Why because I said so, because I no longer need to please anyone else except myself.
Ohh how selfish of you!
Yep that me and what’s more I proud of it. Yet I still haven’t mastered The Art of Surrender to myself ? Why do I have to try, to prove, to push myself to do?
This week I started a 2 year DipM in wait for it ….. ‘Equine assisted Constellations’. Why I ask myself? I can find no logical reason other than because I can, because I feel such a full bodily release when a horse agrees to play in a way that can’t be explained. To play in this field of knowing, without knowing, go figure.
We have started with mapping our families, opening up to see a fresh perspective on the system that without each of the members we would not exist. Enquiring within our stories using the frames of ‘The Family System and ‘The Orders of Love’ and to answer some questions for ourselves.
Each family and stories different, yet the same universal truths. I have surrendered so many imprinted stories and realised how much I was type casting others and therefore myself. If I judge, reject or make wrong another then I am doing that to myself.
Now reading that back it sounds a bit ‘Kumbaya’, yet it feels so freeing and honouring the parts we all play in our family system.
So mastering ‘The Art of Surrender’ is about surrendering to myself. Its an ongoing enquiry and evolution of ‘who I think I am’? Who am I in relation to those I love and those I honour for my gift of this life in the body